Before we start, listen up. Legally, I cannot tell ye to break laws, rules, or sail into waters the King's men would get pissy about. Everything in this guide is metaphor, folklore, and pirate flavored nonsense. If ye treat it like a real guide for committing crimes, then whatever trouble you get into is your own noose to deal with. Read this with a grain of salt, not like you're preparing evidence for a courtroom.

This guide is for landlubbers who always hear rumors about the "seven seas" but have absolutely no clue what that phrase implies. We are not talking about real oceans here, but the seas of the vast web that are told about in taverns all across here waters. Some say it is dangerous, some say it is unethical, but that depends entirely on the story you are telling. In these tales, if buyin aint ownin, then plunderin aint stealin, though again, that is only in legends as I legally have to say.

The seas in these tales are chaotic and unpredictable. Storms come out of nowhere, strange ships drift far too close for comfort, and if ye sail in blind or cocky, your ship will sink faster than your patience on a bad day. If that level of chaos scares you, you should probably stay ashore polishing your boots or whatever nervous sailors do to pass the time. But if you know what you're doing, and you keep your crew sharp, and you do not behave like a slack jawed idiot, these waters are navigable enough.

With the right preparation, a sailor in these stories can slip through the mist, grab some hypothetical booty, and vanish before the navy even agrees on what direction you went. These seas do not care about excuses or good intentions. They care only about whether you know what the hell you are doing. If the pirate life in these tales even slightly appeals to ye, then move on to the next page, where we go over the tools you need so you do not immediately embarrass yourself.